Impact play is a cornerstone in the BDSM world, and for good reason—it’s a thrilling way to explore different sensations, enhance trust, and strengthen intimacy between partners. Not to mention, it’s just downright fun! If you’re curious about impact play but aren’t sure where to begin, you’ve come to the right place. In this beginner’s guide, I’ll walk you through the basics, safety tips, and how to get started. One thing I won’t be covering is technique (maybe in a future blog). But I encourage you to research good techniques before getting started.
Quick vocabulary Lesson – In this blog post I will reference a scene or scenes. A scene is a consensual play session between 2 or more parties where the participants engage in BDSM activities.
What is Impact Play?
Impact play refers to any type of BDSM activity where one partner strikes another’s body for pleasure or sensation. This act can be sexual in nature or not. It is totally up to the people involved. Impact play can involve tools like floggers, paddles, whips, canes, or even just a hand. If pain isn’t your thing, don’t let the description worry you. The goal isn’t necessarily about pain (although it definitely can be)—but rather about creating pleasurable or exciting sensations through touch, stings, and impacts. It’s all about experimenting with different intensities and sensations.
Why do people like Impact Play?
The reasons people have for enjoying Impact Play vary from person to person. Here are some common reasons people engage in Impact Play:
Endorphins: Endorphins get released during Impact Play creating a rush or high.
Marks: Some people enjoy leaving marks on their partner or receiving them from their partner. Some have noted that marks can be viewed as a badge of honor or a physical expression of being connected to and cared for by another. Please note - Impact Play doesn’t have to leave marks and is something that needs to be discussed and agreed upon by both parties before any play begins.
Intimacy: Exploring and allowing your body to be vulnerable in the way that is required for Impact Play requires deep trust and intimacy for both the receiver of the impact and the giver. An already intimate connection will be deepened through the required communication and trust involved in this form of play.
It’s So Naughty: Impact play feels inherently naughty. Think about the connotations of receiving a spanking. Taking this act and incorporating it into your pleasure is delightfully subversive.
Power Dynamics: Impact Play is often used to enhance scenes involving D/s (dominant and submissive) power dynamics. In this scenario, the submissive receives the impact and the dominant administrating it.
Surrender: Impact play requires the receiver of the impact to surrender completely to the giver of the impact, especially if they are retrained. This kind of surrender can be a rush in and of itself. As an adult, how often do you get the chance to completely surrender to another person? I would imagine it is rare. A lot of participants feel a freedom in this type of surrender. For a moment they are freed from the responsibilities of their life and their only focus becomes the sensations they experience.
Out Of Your Head, Into Your Body: This item hints to the previous item, surrender. Impact play requires the receiver to remain present in their body. The sensations in their body demand their attention, temporarily quieting their mind and grounding them in their body.
Common Types of Impact Play Tools
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Hands: One of the most convenient and accessible tools for impact play. You could try light spanking or harder strikes. Hands are a great place to start if you’ve never done impact play before. Depending on your technique, you can create both thuddy and stingy sensations.
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Floggers: These tools consist of multiple tails (usually made of leather or faux leather) and can create a thuddy, heavier sensation or a lighter, stingier sensation that spreads across a larger area. The effect of the flogger depends on the material it is made out of.
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Paddles: Paddles are flat and can vary in material from leather to wood. They usually provide a deeper thuddier sensation although this isn’t always the case. Sometimes paddles can be both thuddy and stingy at the same time. The sensation a paddle provides is based on its size and material.
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Whips & Canes: These are advanced tools that provide sharp, intense sensations. For beginners, it’s better to stick with more forgiving tools like floggers or paddles until you’re more familiar with anatomy, first aid and how to engage in impact play without creating any long-term or serious damage.
This list of tools is in no way exhaustive. There are many tools used in impact play. Impact play can even be done with everyday objects around the house (ex. wooden spoons).
Safety First!
Impact play can be exciting, but as always safety should always come first. It is important to be aware that there is risk involved with impact play, so it is important to do what you can to mitigate that risk. Here are a few key safety tips:-
Consent & Communication: This is absolutely non-negotiable. Both partners should clearly express their boundaries, limits, and desires before starting any impact play. This is true for both parties involved, not just the one receiving the impact play. Just because someone is performing the impact play and not receiving it doesn’t mean they don’t have limits or concerns. Check in often, both during and after the scene. When performing BDSM activities, remember that you are not only responsible for your partner’s physical health, but you are also responsible for handling their vulnerability and emotional safety with the utmost respect and care.
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Have Safe Words: Establish a safe word system to ensure that either partner can pause or stop the activity at any time. “Green” for continue, “yellow” for slow down, and “red” for stop are classic options, but choose what works best for you. Make sure the word you choose isn’t something that you might accidentally say during a scene. For example, “pineapple” isn’t something you would normally call out in such a scenario.
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Learn the Body: Having basic knowledge of human anatomy is essential. Avoid sensitive areas like the kidneys, stomach, spine, neck, face and joints. Stick to safer zones like the buttocks, thighs, breasts and upper back, which can handle more impact. It’s also a good idea to have knowledge of how to administer first aid if needed.
Things To Keep In Mind When Getting Started with Impact Play
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Go Slow: Start slow and gradually increase intensity to allow your partner’s body to warm up adjust to the sensation. Going slow also helps to build anticipation and enhance the experience. Take your partner on a journey, let them get lost in the sensations. Don’t rush. Also, going slow allows you both monitor your emotional reactions to impact play. Impact play can bring up strong emotions for some. Sometimes this can be a good thing and people find the experience to be cathartic. On the other hand, some find their emotional response to be overwhelming and play needs to be paused or come to a full stop.
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Talk it Out: Again, communication. It’s worth noting again because it is so crucial. Before anything else, have an open and honest conversation with your partner about what you both want to try. Set clear boundaries and make sure you both feel comfortable.
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Start Simple: For beginners, it’s best to start simple. A hand spanking can be a great way to explore impact play in a less intimidating way before moving on to using implements like floggers or paddles. Plus, using your hand allows you to feel how your partner’s skin warms up as you play. Becoming familiar with your partner’s physical response to impact is important.
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Explore Sensations: Impact play isn’t just about how hard you can hit. Experiment with different intensities, rhythms, and areas of the body. Some people prefer the thuddy sensation of a dense leather flogger, while others enjoy the sharp sting of a skinnier paddle, some prefer both! There’s no right or wrong.
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Practice Makes Perfect: Practicing your strikes, taps or smacks before administering them to your partner is crucial, especially if you are using a tool such as a flogger or whip. You want to make sure you have mastered the tool ensuring that you have control over where the tool lands on your partner’s body and how hard it hits. Practice allows for greater confidence in the giver and more pleasure for the receiver. Practice and then practice some more!
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Aftercare is Key: Aftercare is essential after any BDSM activity. Aftercare is the act of taking care of someone physically and emotionally after a scene. In this case, the one receiving the impact would be the one receiving the aftercare. Providing aftercare is show of respect and helps ease feelings of intense vulnerability that often follow such activities. This could involve cuddling or kissing, offering a blanket or a snack, checking in emotionally, or applying lotion to any reddened areas. Aftercare helps to ensure that both partners feel safe, cared for, and connected after a scene.
Finding Your Groove
Everyone’s preferences are different when it comes to impact play and those preferences can change over time. Some may enjoy soft, teasing strikes, while others crave something more intense. It’s important to experiment, communicate and explore your own comfort zone and desires. Make sure you touch base with your partner before each scene since desires can vary from scene to scene.
As you grow more experienced, you will most likely find yourself drawn to different tools or sensations, but the key is to always communicate with your partner and prioritize each other’s well-being, making the experience a positive one. Impact play should be a fun, consensual way to enhance pleasure, further your bond and explore—not something that feels uncomfortable, forced or dangerous.
Final Thoughts
Impact play is about sensation, connection, exploration and trust. For beginners, taking the time to slowly explore this practice can open up a whole new world of intimacy and pleasure. Remember to focus on safety, clear communication, and fun as you experiment with this exciting form of play.
Ready to get started? Check out our Impact Play Collection and our BDSM & Fetish Gear Collection.
Want to learn more? I recommend the following books.
