Know Thyself: Why Solo Play Is The Best Prep For Partnered Play

Without a doubt, the best way to get better at sex with someone else is to get really good at sex with yourself. Yep, solo sex isn’t just a guilty pleasure or a late-night stress reliever; it’s a masterclass in self-knowledge, body literacy, and confidence. Bottom line, if you’re ready to elevate your partnered play, a little “me time” is just what the doctor ordered.

Know Thyself, Know Thy Pleasure

Think of masturbation as body-mapping. When you take the time to explore what feels good (and what doesn’t), you’re building a personal pleasure playbook. The more you understand your own turn-ons, the easier it is to communicate those desires to a partner. Communication is everything and having the confidence to ask for what you want is incredibly sexy.

SugarX Pick: Start with the The Heart Original - Rose Quartz Dildo Chakrub — a sensual crystal toy that helps you slow down, focus on opening your heart and exploring your sensuality. Perfect for creating a ritual that opens you up to mapping your own pleasure before sharing it with someone else.

Precision Training for the Big Event

Sex with another person can be unpredictable. Different rhythms, preferences, or distractions can make things complicated. Solo sex is your practice arena where you can slow down, speed up, experiment, and fine-tune. Want to figure out if your body loves rumbly wand vibes, pinpoint clitoral stimulation, light touch or deep internal pressure? Masturbation gives you the answers before you bring someone else into the mix.

SugarX Pick: Curious about rumbly power vs. pinpoint precision? Compare the Doxy Die Cast 3 Wand Massager to the Doxy Bullet Vibrator to learn what your body craves most.

Confidence is the Ultimate Turn-On

When you’re comfortable with your own pleasure, you show up in partnered play with less pressure and more swagger. Instead of silently wishing your partner could just do something slightly different, you’ll already know how to guide them (or even better, show them). That confidence doesn’t just make sex better, it makes the whole connection more fun and relaxed. When you partner can trust you to guide them into giving you the best pleasure, everyone wins.

SugarX Pick: Bring the BumpHer Dildo Base Stimulation Cushion by Banana Pants into solo play to experiment with grinding sensations. When you get familiar with the sensation solo, you’ll know exactly how to incorporate it into strap-on play or bring you favorite grinding moves to couples play.

Play Solo, Share the Spoils

Here’s the best part: all those discoveries you make alone? They become part of your shared sex life. Try introducing your partner to your favorite toy, guiding them through the kind of touch that makes you melt, or inviting them to watch you play (a power move if ever there was one). To be clear, solo sex is a wonderful endeavor by itself, bringing what you learned to partnered play is just a wonderful bonus.

SugarX Pick: Add a little spice with the njoy Pure Plug. Test the waters on your own, then surprise your partner with a shiny, weighted twist to your next session.

The Takeaway

Solo sex isn’t selfish or a waste of time. It’s self-sourced wisdom. Think of it as type of preparation: you learn your body, boost your confidence, and bring those discoveries back to the bedroom. The truth is, the better you are at pleasing yourself, the better you’ll be at teaching someone else how to please you. That’s what we call a win-win.

To see more toys that will help you explore your pleasure check out our Practice Makes Pleasure Collection.