What is chastity play?
Chastity play is a form of intimate play that entails one partner having control over the sexual gratification and sexual pleasure of the other partner. Often the use of chastity devices and/or chastity piercings are deployed. The chastity device or chastity piercing is used to prohibit the wearer from touching their genitals to experience sexual pleasure and/or reach orgasm. A chastity piercing is used for the same reason, to limit the wearer from gaining access to their genitals. Chastity play falls under the umbrella of BDSM since it is centered around an agreed upon power dynamic where the partner in charge (often referred to as the “key holder”) decides when and where the partner wearing the chastity device is to receive sexual pleasure and how much. There are chastity devices that can be worn both short and long term for both vulva havers and penis havers. Chastity devices are often paired with a padlock further cementing the key holder’s authority, hence the term “key holder” used for dominant partner.
What is the allure of chastity play?
Chastity play is a great opportunity to play with control and submission. The act of denying or being denied sexual pleasure can be incredibly erotic. While this may seem counterintuitive, chastity play increases anticipation, sexual tension and desire for the submissive partner and for the dominant, the concept of being given complete control over their submissive’s erotic pleasure can be arousing and heady. If you are or have a submissive who is into humiliation or denial, chastity play is a great layer to further explore those dynamics.
It is important to underscore the profound trust and vulnerability this play necessitates. There is a great amount of responsibility on both parties to effectively communicate. For the submissive, the need to communicate their boundaries, concerns, and any physical discomfort is necessary. For the dominant, the need to actively listen, anticipate needs, be vigilant of their submissive’s physical state and knowledge of when to stop the play should it become too risky is paramount. Due to the level of vulnerability, responsibility, communication, and the intimate nature of this play, a good dynamic can become even more deeply fortified. This interplay of communication, the sensual nature of erotic denial, mounting anticipation, and responsibility required for chastity play makes it both surprisingly emotionally charged and enticing.
What about chastity devices?
Chastity devices typically come in the forms of cock cages and chastity belts and are available in a couple of different materials (ex. plastic, steel, leather, etc..). Somethings to consider when deciding on the material of your chastity device is comfort, weight, practicality, and aesthetic appeal. Please always make sure you are using body safe materials. Also, it is essential to buy a properly fitting device.
If you want to take things a step further, some chastity devices incorporate urethral sounds, anal plugs and vaginal plugs.
Like a little pain or into CBT (cock and ball torture)? There are male chastity devices that are designed to deliver electroshocks or torturing the chastised using screws or weights. There are also flat cages, inverted cages and all sorts of specialty cages available if you desire a more unique experience.
Chastity piercings?
For females, it is common to see the labia majora pierced on each side and the piercings used to connect the outer labia together to limit access to the clit and vagina. Rings with captive beads, horseshoe barbells or standard barbells can be used. There is the option of connecting the rings via pad lock. With this route, there are some inventive possibilities.
For males, usually you will see the Prince Albert piercing integrated with a chastity cage.
What are the risks?
As with any BDSM practice, chastity play isn’t without risks. Hygiene and chaffing, especially in the context of long-term play carefully considered. Proper fit when using a chastity device is crucial to prevent potential circulation issues and damage to soft tissues and sensitive areas. Always keep an eye out for signs of infection, irritation, and bruising.
While long term effects of chastity devices on penile heath doesn’t seem to be extensively documented, it is commonly advised that if you plan to engage in long-term play, that you consider getting a custom-made device so you aren’t experiencing any unnecessary compression, circulation issues, pinching or rubbing.
When it comes to chastity piercings, the risks are the same as with chastity devices but include the additional risks that come along with piercings necessitating extra vigilance.
No key holder? No problem.
If you are flying solo and want to experiment with chastity play on your own, do it! There doesn’t need to be a key holder involved for you to begin your exploration. You can buy a timed locked box or key safe to hold the keys to your chastity device. You could also look into employing a chastity service or app.
Is your key holder long distance?
If your key holder is long distance, there are a couple of potential solutions that could work for you. There are key tubes with numbered seals available. The submissive takes a picture of the seal and sends it to the key holder. Because the seals are numbered, it will force the submissive to be honest if they broke the seal.
There are also numbered tags that could be used in lieu of a lock. These tags can be cut but since they are numbered, if the key holder asks for a daily picture of the tag, they will know if the old tag has been removed and a new one put on its place.
A benefit of using both the numbered seals and the numbered tags are that they can be broken in case of emergency.
You could also consider using a Bluetooth safe.
Conclusion
Chastity play is an intoxicating blend of power dynamics, trust, vulnerability, communication, and delicious anticipation. Take a slow and thoughtful approach when beginning this practice to avoid injury and give your body time to adjust. Not everyone has the goal of working up to long-term chastity play and that is O.K., take it only as far as you desire. Who knew there was so much promise in denial?
XOXO,
Aimee
Recommended reading:
Toy Bag Guide To Chastity Play by Mistress Simone
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